Blog #11 August 2015
One Tip for Healthy Relationships
So often, people come to me wanting the “best of both worlds”.
“Why should I have to give up anything just because I am in a relationship?” is a question that gets presented in couples counseling frequently.
Being in a relationship means going from flying solo to being a part of a team. How healthy your team will be is dependent upon how willing to compromise you are. There is no way around compromising if your goal is to be in a healthy relationship. Choosing to be involved in a healthy relationship requires taking your partner’s needs, feelings and concerns into consideration. This is a great place to employ the old adage of ‘picking and choosing your battles’. Decide what things are important to you and have a respectful conversation with your partner. Doing this will pave the way for your partner to do this as well.
Your life will change, ideally for the better, once you are involved in a mature, respectful relationship. Sacrifices are inevitable. Be ready for them. Rather than focusing on the things you can no longer do, focus on the new and exciting ways your life is enhanced now that you are involved in a relationship.
Over time, resentment can cloud your views and make it more difficult to want to take your partner’s needs into consideration. Seek counseling if this happens as resentment is the quickest way for a relationship to fall apart. Better yet, seek counseling in the beginning of a relationship to be able to lay a solid foundation for compromising and communication.
Call me. Let’s chat.
Laurie Shoats LMFT
Real Life Solutions Counseling