How Do I make My Relationship Better?
This is a concern most couples have.
Who would not want to have their relationship be as healthy as possible?
There are many factors which can play into having a great relationship.
One of the many factors is to have good BALANCE in your relationship.
Many couples come to me feeling overwhelmed and as if they are on a hamster wheel.
They report feeling like they are going 100 miles an hour but getting nowhere and not getting anything done.
They report feeling like they are waking up doing the exact same thing every single day and not feeling fulfilled. I have heard the term “Groundhog Day“on several occasions by my clients.
Have you ever experienced any of this?
If you have then you are not alone.
A good guideline when it comes to making sure you have balance in your life is to make sure all four of these boxes get checked, provided all of these boxes are applicable to your life.
***1. The first one is to make sure that you have adequate family time.
Family time has to do with spending time with your partner as well as with your children. This could be anything from watching a movie together to going to the park or going for a walk.
Creating these memories together as well as strengthening your bond can do wonders for the family cohesiveness as well as the emotional security of your children.
***2. The second one is to make sure you have adequate alone time with your social support group.
This can be any time at all that you spend simply with your social support system.
Make sure that you are doing something that is enjoyable to you.
Some people find it enjoyable to go out to dinner with their friends.
Some enjoy engaging in their hobbies with their friends. As long as it is something that you look forward to then you can put a check in this box.
***3. The third is to make sure you have adequate time with your partner.
This is often referred to as ‘Date Night’. Date night is very important when it comes to keeping the relationship exciting and close. You want to feel like your partner is one of your best friends and the best way to do that is to do things together and have experiences together.
Ideally, date night happens once a week. More realistically is happens once a month.
I have had couples tell me that they have not had a night alone in years and their level of satisfaction in their relationship often reflects this. They report a low level of satisfaction.
It is often said that if you want to feel what you felt in the beginning of your relationship then you need to do what you did in the beginning of the relationship.
It sounds simple but life can certainly get in the way. Making time to reconnect with date nights can make you feel more love for your partner and remind you why you chose them as your partner.
Try hard to establish a good babysitter/person you trust to watch your children.
When mom and dad have a strong relationship then it makes the kids feel better about their lives.
***4. The fourth is to make sure that your partner has adequate time with their social support group.
This means that your partner needs to spend time away from you having fun. It is ok if they have fun without you. You will do the same thing. This leads to you being a healthy and well rounded couple.
Encourage your partner to go watch the game with their friends or go shopping together.
So your goal is to be able to put a check in all four of these boxes to have good balance in your relationship.
This is one of the many things that can improve the quality of your relationship.
Do you want to make your relationship better?
Call me, let’s chat.
Laurie Shoats L.M.F.T. (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist)
Real Life Solutions Counseling, Inc.